Our fat friend next door

Every night as dusk settles over the sleepy village of Old Basing Doug and I are visited by our fat little friend next door. You may think I am being pretty rude about his size but, I am not. He really is that fat. In fact he might even be a she…it’s hard to tell. He, or indeed she, has a dirty brown complexion, a belly the size of a beach ball and hair protruding out in all directions. What a picture.

Doug and I will often stand at the window side-by-side watching his or her every move. Our friend will shuffle one way – then another – as if it is taking part in that old disco classic the “cha-cha slide”. If it were to raise it’s head upwards it would see Doug and I standing blatantly spying. Thank goodness this has not happened yet. It is only a matter of time though. Perhaps we should think about being a tad more secretive.

Our night time visitor is always after one thing -food. Its has a very particular and refined diet – cat food. The sloppy kind. Our little friend scurries towards a bowl left out for the strays and literally dive-bombs right in there. No elegance, no aplomb – not a care in the world. When cat food is involved nothing gets in its way. Even in the howling wind and thunderous rain our wee pal is there stoically eating its meal. After prying on it for a while Doug usually gets bored first and scuttles back to his computer. On the other hand I remain in awe of this wondrous specimen. It is usually there for quite a long time though – making a right meal of it…However eventually I succumb to tiredness and have to head to bed. In fact Doug told me today he even dreamt about our night time visitor. I think this is a bad sign. We, or particularly he, is becoming obsessed. I am not sure how much longer we will see our friend for. As winter draws closer it will be forced to find shelter. I hope it locates somewhere warm and cosy away from the relentless winter weather. We do not have name for our fat little visitor from next door. However I think we should call him Freddie.

Image result for hedgehog

Life size image of oor’ Freddie….

Freddie is not a person. I am sure you guessed this already when I explained how much our friend liked catfood. Although I will admit I have eaten dog food before….biscuits though…and in a pub….so alcohol obviously made me do it…..and so obviously this was okay. Freddie is a hedgehog. A beautiful, rounded, snuffling, shuffling hedgehog. Our neighbours like to feed the stray cats but Freddie nicks all their food. I am pretty happy about this though as the cats use my border to take a dump in. This is another reason I like it when Freddie visits. Justice deserved.

So, look out for a night time visitor. You never know…you might have a fat little friend just around the corner too. Hopefully you do not have cats pooping in your garden also. If you do I feel your pain.


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